Showing posts with label based off book. Show all posts
Showing posts with label based off book. Show all posts

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Stanley Kubrick's Stephen King's The Shining


The Shining – 1980



He Came As The Caretaker, But This Hotel Had Its Own Guardians - Who'd Been There A Long Time

The Shining isn’t just one of my favorite horror movies it’s one of my favorite movies period.  For the longest time I watched it every Halloween along with The Evil Dead, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and of course Halloween.  I’ve seen a lot of horror flicks and what a lot of the ones released during the late 70’s and early 80’s have in common is they’re all b movies, have small budgets, and a great deal of them are campy(literally a lot of them take place in summer camps).  The Shining differs from these movies in tone, talent, setting, and of course budget. 

I’ve never been a Stanley Kubrick fan.  For reasons I’ll never understand A Clockwork Orange reemerged as a cult favorite among members of my generation, and I’ve never seen 2001: A Space Odyssey, Spartacus, or Dr. Strangelove.  I have seen Full Metal Jacket(I didn’t understand the appeal of that one either), and Eyes Wide Shut(I don’t dislike this one but it can be boring and I really don’t like Tom Cruise).  Even though I’m not a Kubrick fan I’ll admit that the cinematography and imagery in this movie is amazing, especially the opening mountain sequences.

Before I started reading the book I researched the movie and was surprised to learn during its release The Shining got bad reviews from almost every major film critic, reviews that have since been reversed by the very same critics.  As much as I adore this movie it’s still far from perfect.  The family dynamic in this one is similar to the one in the miniseries.  Jack seems indifferent to both Danny and his wife and Wendy is submissive, weak willed, and not very matronly.  Once again the family isn’t seen together very often.  Jack spends a lot of time alone writing and Danny is often seen playing by himself and wandering around the hotel.  Another problem I have is Jack is hired as the winter caretaker but is never seen doing any actual work.  The truth is the pacing of the movie would have been thrown off if we were forced to see him partake in the many chores he would have to undergo, but we don’t even see him taking out the trash

Danny Lloyd is as good as Courtland Mead is bad.  The only thing that really bothers me about Lloyd is his dated hair and wardrobe.  This seems to be a common problem with movies and tv produced near the end of an era.  Like some early 90’s movies seem like they’re in a transition period between the current fashions and the ones of the decade that preceded it.  The same can be said of the late 60’s and early 70’s.  Hippies and hippie fashion seemed to stick around for a few years after the 60’s ended.  In the Shining’s case the wardrobe is stuck in the late 70’s(I should note here that the movie was released in 1980 but was shot sometime around 77 or 78 based upon what little information I could find on the internet.  I just think it’s odd how drastically fashions changed in a few short years)Wendy suffers from the same problem.  Her wardrobe is just for lack of a better word bizarre.  She dresses like a conservative nun.  I realize that they’re up in the mountains during winter but every scene she’s in every inch of her body is covered.

The acting is more or less good except for Shelley Duvall.  I’ll never understand why she was chosen for this role.  The only thing she has going for her is she can scream and looks terrified really well.  Throughout much of the movie she looks and sounds dazed like she took a handful of ADD medication.   No matter what’s going on she never seems all that concerned whether it’s her husband going insane or her child having fainting spells.  The Wendy character in the movie is also a far cry from the one in the book.  She has no chemistry with either Jack or Danny and is a weak submissive doormat.

No one plays crazy quite like Jack Nicholson and this is Nicholson at his craziest.  Unfortunately just like Duvall he doesn’t have much chemistry with his wife or son.  I really don’t know much about Nicholson’s personal life so I don’t know if he was married or had any kids at the time but if feels like the idea of being a family man is entirely alien to him.  When I think about it most of the movies I’ve seen him in since this movie he’s been a bachelor, a widower, divorced, or a loner with no kids.

What’s strange is this is the only movie I’ve ever seen where my opinion of it was not altered by reading the book.  Actually this is one of a few where I enjoyed the movie far more than I did the book and I think a lot of that has to do with Kubrick cutting out a great deal of the filler and improving on the atmosphere.  I can see how a more modern audience would find this boring in the same way they might find Psycho or Jaws boring.  My advice would be to forget the book and just watch the movie.  While I was more invested in the characters in the book I was more invested in the story with the movie.  The Shining just makes a better movie than a book.  As good as it is it’s not perfect and I’m sure if it was I’d have no interest in it.  So I give it a 90/100.  I watched a lot of horror movies in my youth and the only one that scared me more than The Shining was Candyman.

Monday, March 5, 2012

The Twight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt.1 - 2011


The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt.1 - 2011









Forever is only the beginning
and trust me after watching this movie you’ll agree

I remember a time when vampires were menacing creatures who killed indiscriminately to satiate a lust for blood.  They had no redeeming qualities and were always the villains.  If you've seen as many horror movies as I have chances are you’ve seen at least one really bad vampire flick(Queen of the Damned).  Breaking Dawn is one of the absolute worst ones I’ve seen for the following reasons

  •          This can scarcely be called a vampire movie because no one is seen actually being a vampire.  I realize that most people who dislike this series can say the same about all these movies but in this one out of all the vampire characters no one is seen biting victims’ necks, feasting on blood, killing anything, or even displaying what these movies laughingly call preternatural powers.  (There’s a short flashback scene where Edward reveals he used to drink human blood from rapists and murderers.  It’s funny but I think I read about a vampire who did the same thing.  I think it was in a book called The Vampire Lestat.  Believe it or not both characters justify taking human life by drinking the blood of evildoers.  They even pick them out the same way, by reading their minds.)
  •          I’m actually a big fan of these movies if only for their camp value.  Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse are all examples of movies so bad they’re good, sadly I can’t say the same about this one.
  •          Absolute lack of an antagonist.  This movie has no bad guy and I really don’t know how else to put this but a bulk of the movie is just stuff happening.  Works great on a Cheech and Chong movie, here it’s just really boring.  The Volturi make a brief appearance in Bella’s nightmare proving that the only things that happen in this movie are in flashbacks and dreams.
  •          THIS FUCKING MOVIE HAS NO GODDAMN PLOT!!!  Watch this movie and try briefly describing the movie’s plot to someone who hasn’t seen it.  It’s about a human character getting married to a vampire and having a baby. Does that sound like a good vampire movie to you?!  More than half of this movie is devoted to a wedding(opening 20 minutes) and a honeymoon(40 minutes).  None of which are more entertaining than the average wedding and honeymoon by adding vampires and werewolves. 
  •          Stephanie Meyer does not know how to write men.  Oh don’t get me wrong she knows well enough how to write men how her target audience wants to perceive them, as virtuous, sensitive, and willing to fight to the very end for their fair maiden.
  •          Stephanie Meyer does not know how to write women either.  This has nothing much to do with this movie but all the movies on a whole.  I just don’t see what is so desirable about the Bella character.  Bella is so one sided, shallow, and self-absorbed that all her motives leading up to this movie can be explained with the following phrase: BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE A VAMPIRE!  Here a few examples: Why does Bella fall in love with Edward in the first movie?  BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE A VAMPIRE!  Why does she constantly pester Edward about her mortality in New Moon?  BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE A VAMPIRE!  Why does Edward reject her and subsequently disappear?  BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE A VAMPIRE!  Why does she end up becoming an emotional wreck waking up screaming bloody murder in her sleep after Edward leaves her?  BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE A VAMPIRE!  Why does she reject Jacob when Edward reappears?  BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE A VAMPIRE!  Why is she getting married at 18?  BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE A VAMPIRE!  For a series written by a woman with a protagonist that is a woman women aren’t always seen in the best light.
  •          This movie is so much filler it becomes painfully clear why they broke it up into two parts.  Either they are trying to capitalize even further from this franchise or they were afraid if the wedding and honeymoon sequences weren’t done exactly like they were in the book they were going to have a lot of angry fans on their hands.  



After the honeymoon Breaking Dawn starts to pick up the pace when Bella becomes pregnant…  If you’re lost so am I.  I’ve read a lot of vampire books and watched a lot of vampire movies.  Usually they tend to agree on one thing; vampires are dead and since they don’t eat or drink their bodily functions have ceased.  So vampires can’t have sex or ejaculate.  Supposing they could wouldn’t vampire sperm be immobile?  Perhaps I’m reading too much into a story of misplaced teenage love involving vampires and werewolves.



 My theories on vampire anatomy are akin to Brodie and TS’s discussion about super hero reproduction

Bella is still human and since the baby is supernatural not only does it begin to grow at an accelerated rate but it starts to kill her.  Time for good ol’ fashioned male rationale.  Kinda funny that the subject of women’s rights enters into such a goofy movie but nevertheless both Jacob and Edward agree it’s best to abort the baby.  Not to get into my own personal beliefs too much but it seems entirely reasonable to get rid of demon babies that are quickly killing you but instead Bella decides to keep them.  Why she does is never quite clear to me and the BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE A VAMPIRE motive doesn’t quite fit here.
In the midst of all this there is a werewolf schism when part of the pack wants to protect Bella and the baby while the others want to destroy it and all the vampires with it.  Next comes my favorite part of any of this movie.  The still human Bella finds the only way to please the baby is to drink blood and she does so by drinking it out of a foam fast food cup complete with lid and straw.  That is without doubt the funniest thing I have seen throughout all these movies.


 Vanished Civilizations?  Guess that explains where the plot went.

I can barely believe I’m saying this but this movie has a scene towards the end that has grossed me out more than anything I’ve ever seen in any other vampire movie.  Turns out that all the men in this movie were right about removing the baby because it does actually kill her.  Hope I’m not ruining anything for you but it just so happens Padame Amida – sorry Bella is pregnant with twins.  The only way to get them out is by cesarean which a female character tries(sorry I can’t remember what the hell her name is because she has such a small role in these movies) to do with a scalpel when she goes blood crazy and has to be tackled.  Apparently there isn’t time to get a new one or sanitize the one that fell on the floor so being a vampire Edward does what comes natural and starts chewing the babies out.  No pun intended that’s actually what he does.  The camera stays out of view but when he reemerges he’s got blood all over his face and lips.  Aside from being disgusting this is for me an lol head slappin moment.  The dirty scalpel isn’t sanitary but his mouth is?!


Are you gonna finish that?

Rather than bore you on the details of how this movie ends I’ll just sum it up quickly.  There’s an uneventful vampire/werewolf fight that ends suddenly.  Like we haven’t already seen that.  Bella dies and Edward tries to resuscitate her by using his “vampire venom” which doesn’t work until the credits are about to start.


Little known fact vampire venom is usually extracted from the anus in a very painful procedure.

I really didn’t see anything here that would need to be split into two movies.  In fact I think you could probably trim a good 30 minutes off the run time by cutting the wedding and honeymoon sequences.  If this is the final result ya gotta wonder if they bothered cutting anything at all.

I give this movie a 10/100.  I was considering giving it a higher score simply because I felt sorry for it.  I am loathe to give any movie such a low score but I just couldn't bring myself to give this movie any more credit than it deserves.  It is boring, uneventful, and directionless.  A lot of times when movies are part of a trilogy or a series or based on a book fans will overlook weaknesses in them.  In the case of book adaptations people often compare them to the books.  Since I've never read the books I like to judge this on it's own weight as a movie.  Even forgetting the other movies this is just a really weak movie.