The Vault of Horror - 1973

The Vault of Horror - 1973

Below the Crypt lies Death's waiting room The Vault of Horror

Seeing as this is the last Amicus movie I'm going to be reviewing this month I've decided to change the format of my synopsis.  Honestly I wish this idea came to me from the beginning.

Segment 1 Midnight Mess:  A man hires a private detective in order to find his long lost sister.  It turns out she lives in a strange town where there have been 17 disappearances and no one goes outside for fear of "them".

Segment 2 The Neat Job: An aging life-long bachelor marries the daughter of a colleague, unaccustomed to sharing space with someone he goes balistic whenever something is out of place.  His wife lives in terror every time the husband comes home trying desperately to get any misplaced items back into place.

Segment 3 This Trick'll Kill You: A husband and wife magician team visit India in order to find new tricks for their acts.  They come across a street performer who is able to erect a rope strong enough to climb up using a magic flute.  The husband offers to pay the performer for this trick but she refuses.

Segment 4 Bargain in Death: A failing author plans to fake his own death so his best friend can collect the insurance money but he isn't expecting his friend to betray him and leave him for dead in his own coffin.

Segment 5 Drawn and Quartered: A struggling artist living in Haiti finds out he was cheated by his associates into believing his paintings are worthless while they're making a fortune off them.  He visits a voodoo priest to get revenge and now whatever he paints becomes real.

     Once again we start off with a dud but this one isn't nearly as bad as "And All Through the House".  Just like that one this one was remade for the Tales From the Crypt series.  This segment is not too bad and unlike "All Through..." I don't feel the need to skip it when I watch the movie.  Perhaps I'm biased because the later episode is one my favorites from Tales From the Crypt.  In "Mournin Mess" the monsters are ghouls instead of vampires as they are here.  The makeup was done a heck of a lot better too.  The goofy prosthetic teeth the vampires are given look like they're barely being held in their mouths.  They look more like walruses than vampires and I can't help but chuckle every time they're revealed in the end.  Even though I don't particularly like this segment I gotta give it up to them for casting real life brother and sister Daniel and Anna Massey as movie siblings.  I love it when movies do that.  From Beyond the Grave did something similar with Donald and Angela Pleasence.

 

 The Vault of Horror Segment 1 Midnight Mess

Tales From the Crypt S03 Ep10 Mournin Mess

Which do you find more terrifying?

     I love this next segment.  I don't know if we're meant to sympathize more with the wife who can't seem to do anything right or the overbearing husband who berates his wife over silly things like forgetting to put spaghetti sauce on the shopping list.  Honestly I sympathize with both.  I tend to go batshit when someone moves or borrows something of mine without telling me but at the same time I can understand trying to do your best to please someone who seems impossible.  Unlike its HBO counterpart I like this one way more.  The HBO one featured a career driven husband forced into retirement who neglected his wife for their entire marriage and since they never had kids she became the world's most eccentric cat lady.  In that one you tend to sympathize more with the husband because the wife is so nutty and unreasonable.  However, in this version its the husband who is an unreasonable bully.  Two versions of the same story, both different, but one is way better.

     I don't have a whole lot to say about the rest of the movie except that Drawn and Quartered is my favorite segment.  Its more creative and inspired (even though it pays homage to The Picture of Dorian Grey) than the rest and its sense of ironic retribution is reminiscent of the comic books.  Although I haven't seen all the Amicus horror flicks this remains my favorite.  90/100