Breaking Dawn Part 2 - 2012

 

Breaking Dawn Part 2 - 2012

"The epic finale that will live forever"

(Let's hope not)

      Where we left in the last movie Bella had just given birth to a half vampire half human baby and then quickly died.  Jacob imprinted on Bella's baby, Renesme, and ended the tension between the werewolves and the vampires.

     The final "Twilight" movie begins with Bella waking up and experiencing her preternatural powers for the first time. Her and Edward have a tender moment then the two decide its best for her to hunt and feed before she sees her daughter for the first time.  Out in the wilderness we get more demonstrations of Bella's vampire senses before she spots a deer, then a human climbing a mountain.  Her attention is divided to the human when he scrapes his leg and she runs after him.  Edward tries to stop her but she jumps off the cliff and back toward the same deer which is now being pursued by a mountain lion.  For clarity's sake all this takes place in just over 5 minutes rather than the 61 pages it took in the book.

      After the pair are joined by Jacob back at the house.  Jacob wants to make sure Bella is in control enough not to attack her daughter... or ummm his new girlfriend.  When everything is okay the group go inside and we get the first glimpse of Bella's daughter Renesme.

Let's just get this out of the way now.  The CGI baby looks completely fake and weird but when faced with the alternative would you rather have this or...

This?  That has got to be the weirdest freakin thing I've ever seen.  Renesme is supposed to be very emotive and move around a lot.  They could either accomplish his by use of animatronics or  computers.  They ended up using CG instead but can you really blame them.  That THING is going haunt my dreams for the rest of my life.

     I'm starting to think a subtitle for this movie could be "Breaking Dawn 2: Tender Moments" because Bella gets to have another tender moment with her child before she realizes that her best friend imprinted on her.  I thought this scene was funny in the book but the movie somehow managed to top it.  Kristen Stewart isn't exactly known for her range and seeing her try to act offended and matronly is amusing.  Okay so Bella flips out and attacks Jacob and well... just take a look yourself

     For a while the movie's pacing grinds to a halt as the only interesting thing that happens is Bella and Renesme being spotted by a member of another vampire clan, Irina, that mistakes Renesme for a vampire child.   Irina rushes off to Italy to warn the vampire police or Volturi what the Cullens have done.  We get a little exposition explaining that vampire children are forbidden and are destroyed along with their creator.  Alice the psychic Cullen sees a vision of the Volturi coming for them then promptly exits for most of the movie.  With this warning the Cullens begin recruiting other vampires to help them convince the Volturi that Renesme is not an immortal child.  Just like in the book each one of these witnesses has a special power.  There's a guy who can manipulate the elements, a woman who's touch electrifies, and a woman who can subvert reality.  It is through these vampires that Bella learns of a secret power to shield herself and others from other vampire powers.

 
      I won't pretend to know much about medieval Romanians but were there a lot of platinum blonde prettyboys wandering around back then?

 
      The movie ends with the Volturi confronting the Cullens.  A fight breaks out and everyone starts attacking one another.  Towards the end of this battle we find out that it's only going on in one character's head.  The fantasy ends and Alice presents the Volturi with another half vampire half human.  They prove that Renesme poses no threat to the Volturi and they leave.

     This is not a bad movie.  This isn't even the worst "Twilight".  It's not good by any stretch of the imagination but what sets it apart from the other movies in the franchise is what makes it a little better.  We no longer have to establish the romance between Bella and Edward or Jacob and Bella, nor are we forced with Bella pleading with Edward to turn her into a vampire and Edward feeling conflicted about it.  But just because it no longer has these things doesn't mean I can excuse it from everything I've already seen.  To be fair if you hadn't seen another "Twilight" movie watching this you might be a little lost.  You also can't forget the title of this movie is "Breaking Dawn Part 2".  This movie is the second half of the last movie.  It reminds me a lot of "Kill Bill".  You have one movie that is captivating, entertaining, and filled with action and one movie that is rather boring and poorly paced but you have to look at it as part of a larger whole.

     The movie is better than the half of the book its based on.  As I've already mentioned what was 60 merciless pages in the book plays out in only 5 minutes(if only it took me that long to read those two crappy chapters).  Even though they kept the J. Jenks subplot its shortened significantly but could have and should have been edited out of the movie because it doesn't affect the plot at all and just like the book is not utilized.  The all out war only takes place in one character's mind but its more than the book gives you.  I'm sure the screenwriter figured the audience needed a climax even it was just a smokescreen.  But even the best "Twilight" movie is still a damned dull vampire movie.  75/100

This idiot can conjure fire and build walls of water but when it comes down to the big fight sequence with the Volturi he breaks open a hole straight to the center of the earth that everyone can and DOES fall into.

Vampire, werewolf, Volturi, good guy, bad guy, doesn't matter they all fall down the big hole.