Favorite Christmas Movies

Happy Holidays Everyone

     I've always wondered what exactly makes a movie a Christmas movie.  If you ask my mother its those terrible stop motion flicks that became popular during the 60's.  Maybe you're a bit different and enjoy classics like "Miracle on 34th Street" or "Its a Wonderful Life"  The one thing I could never understand was why "The Sound of Music" was considered an appropriate Christmas movie.  Sure it has nuns in it but it also has Nazis and nothing says Christmas quite like a family of singing Austrians fleeing from Nazis.

     I on the other hand prefer more unconventional holiday movies.  A lot of Christmas movies seem to force home a message and are sentiment heavy, as I child I didn't appreciate that and as an adult I appreciate all that sugar coating even less.  In other words I tend to enjoy movies where the holiday and all its lessons about charity and good will are secondary or missing entirely.  Movies that just seem to take place on Christmas.  So in no particular order here are my favorite Christmas movies.

Die Hard(1988)

     This should be known as the mother of all Christmas movies for guys who don't like traditional Christmas movies.  Nothing about cheer, good will, gift giving, carolers, Jesus, and above all peace.  Lots of people die in this and oh yes there will be blood.

      It seems superfluous to describe the plot of this movie because everyone and their mother have seen it.  The reason I like it is that while an action movie it deviates from every action movie released during the 80's.   John McClane is a normal run of the mill cop from New York armed only with his handgun and a couple of clips of ammo.  He has no special training and is thrust into this impossible situation.  Unlike most action leads of the time he's vulnerable, outnumbered, and out of his element.  He gets wounded and shows signs of fatigue and distress.  He even has a sense of humor and personality rather than being a mindless killing machine.

Bad Santa(2003)

     You should know what you're getting into with this movie just by reading the title.  Billy Bob Thorton plays a cynical, foul mouthed, grumpy, alcoholic, womanizing, safe cracking mall santa who knocks over malls on the busiest shopping day of the year.  Thorton is forced to stay with an introverted bullied child who believes he is the real Santa Claus.

     This strange and pathetic child starts to have an effect on Willie (Thorton) and he learns the true meaning of Christmas... more or less.  He's still the same person by the end of the movie but has learned a lesson all the same.  One of my favorite moments of the movie is where Willie dressed in full Santa garb is shot in the back by a group of policemen while horrified children watch.  You don't get that with just any Christmas movie.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation(1989)

     Everybody has their favorite Vacation movie, this has always been mine.  It seems to me that every movie in this series featured Clark Griswold reaching a breaking point and losing his mind.  You start to feel sorry for the guy when he's put so much planning into creating the perfect vacation experience for his family and somehow something always goes catastrophically wrong.

     This entry is a departure from the other films.  The setting of "Christmas Vacation" takes place largely within the Griswold home instead of having them travel somewhere.  The house becomes full when every member of both sides of the family decide to hold Christmas at the Griswold home.  If you've ever hosted a family gathering of any kind at any time you're well aware of how stressful this can be.  You have to put on a game face and act nice around family members you clearly despise.  You may also be put out by trying to accommodate every person's individual needs.

     On top of the stresses caused by his family Clark is also counting on a Christmas bonus that he's planning on using to install a swimming pool.  When the bonus gets there and it turns out that he's been enrolled in the "Jelly of the Month Club" he goes on a tirade.  The madness reaches a climax when Cousin Eddie kidnaps his boss and confronted with how the missing bonus has affected Clark and his family decides to double his last year's bonus but not before a SWAT team breaks into the house and holds the entire family at gunpoint.

The Ref(1994)

     Denis Leary is a cat burglar who kidnaps a married couple who turn bickering into an olympic sport.  The Griswold's have nothing on this dysfunctional family.  The parents don't speak to one another unless they are arguing, their son is blackmailing his military school commandant, and the grandmother complains and berates everyone and acts like a stingy loan shark to her children. The whole experience acts as a sort of therapy bringing the family closer together by the end of the movie.  There's got be some kind of metaphoric statement to be made when a thief punches out a drunk santa.  I'm starting to think maybe these movies have a personal vendetta against Saint Nick. 

Go(1999)

     Go is one of the more quirky movies I've put on this list.  Most of theses have themes of Christmas but this one might just as well take place during any other time.  Christmas is mentioned a few times and there's a rave with a Christmas theme but just about everything else involving the holiday is devoid.  The movie is about 4 loosely connected short stories involving a group of grocery store employees.

     Ronna needs to pay her back rent or else she's going to get evicted.  By chance while she's working at the super market two actors approach her asking her about her drug dealing co-worker who's absconded to Las Vegas with his friends.  They're desperate enough to score some ecstasy for a Christmas party that they're willing to pay extra for the drugs.  Ronna goes to her co-workers suppler to get the drugs hoping that the extra money she makes selling the drugs at a higher price will be enough to pay her rent.  She doesn't have enough to buy the drugs but the dealer agrees to watch her friend while she makes the deal and pays off the rest.  She finds out she's been tricked into a drug bust and rushes off to the bathroom to get rid of the evidence. She then has to find out how she's going to pay her rent and replace the lost drugs.
 
     The next segment involves Simon.  It's a pretty standard Las Vegas plot where he gets high, has group sex, burns down a hotel room, accidentally shoots a bouncer, and has to escape.  Its amusing but has little to do with the rest of the movie.  The next story involves the two actors who as part of plea deal are helping two undercover officers bust Ronna.  Through it we get to see a different perspective of what happens to her.  The last segment features Ronna's girl friend Clair in a romance with Simon's drug supplier.

Strange Days(1995)

     This movie takes place on the days leading up to New Year's 1999 rather than Christmas.  You see back in the 90's everybody seem to think the world was coming to an end for some reason.  It was just like year 2012 thing only not nearly as stupid.  But fear of the world ending in 1999 was a real enough threat for a lot of people.  So much so that a lot of movies utilized that fear in their plots.

     A lot of people seem to get hung up on the fact that this is a futuristic sci fi movie released in '95 that had a rather unreasonable view of advancing technology.  I'm not sure it was the filmakers intent but I think of it more like speculative science fiction.  If you're unfamiliar with that term a good example of it is Alan Moore's "Watchmen" or Philip K. Dick's "The Man In the High Castle".  One of the devices used in the plot is called a S.Q.U.I.D., it records and plays back the audio and video through the first person perspective of its wearer.  The device was intended to be used as a wire for the police but is now illegal.  Because of this a black market has developed dealing these tapes.  The story revolves around a playback dealer who stumbles upon a murder plot involving a slain musician.  It may be a little far fetched but the story is unique and creative and the performances are solid.  "Strange Days" is reminiscent of a "Videodrome" of the 90's.

Reindeer Games(2000)

     I can understand the hate this movie generated at the time and continues to generate to this day, but I'm still going to defend it anyway.  People hate Ben Affleck and people love to hate the guy and for the most part I can understand that too.  It probably has something to do with roles like this.  It seems whenever he's not in a Kevin Smith film he plays a vain, shallow, alpha male type character.  I suppose most people can't identify with that kind of character so they pick the poor guy apart.  "Reindeer Games" in no way deviates from that Ben Affleck archetype, if anything it personifies it.

     The "hero" of our story is Rudy Duncan, a con who is about to be released from prison.  His cellmate, Nick, is also about to be released and talks about nothing but the pen pal he started writing from inside.  During a riot Nick is stabbed and dies.  On the transfer bus Rudy recognizes Nick's pen pal looking expectantly for him.  What motivates Rudy to get off the bus, greet her, and introduce himself as Nick is something I've always wondered.  Either he does so because he loved Nick, he feels sorry for the poor girl who has been waiting years for her pen pal to get out, or his own selfish sexual gratification.

     The two share a brief romance before Ashley's brother, Monster, shows up with his gang.  Of all the things I like about this movie I'd say the cast is the best.  You've got Gary Sinise as Monster, Donal Logue and Danny Trejo as Monster's henchmen, Dennis Farina as a former Vegas casino manager who now manages a struggling indian casino in rural Michigan, and Isaac Hayes as an extra in the prison.  If anything watching these great actors play such fun characters is entertaining enough.  More often than not Gary Sinise plays a good guy so I love to see him play the bad guy.  In my opinion he's always done a better job of that.  At least when he's playing a bad guy he has some personality.  Who knows maybe I just like a good villain.

     Through mistaken identity Monster believes Rudy to be Nick and through his love letters learned that Nick used to work security in an indian casino.  Monster wants Rudy's help to plan a heist on the casino.   Aside from Affleck's deeply flawed character and delivery the other problem I'm sure haters had was this movie has one too many twists.

Twist 1: Rudy's cellmate Nick is killed and he takes his place with his girlfriend Ashley

Twist 2: Ashley's brother interrupts their tryst to enlist Rudy/Nick's help to knock over a casino he believes he once worked at.

Twist 3: Rudy comes clean about who he is and is not believed

Twist 4: Pug, one of Monster's henchman, overhears Rudy arguing with Ashley about how he's not Nick, doubts are raised, Rudy is asked personal questions about Ashley at gunpoint to prove he is Nick.

Twist 5: Rudy escapes captivity from his hotel room (where the freakin stupid henchman leave him unguarded at all times), he overhears Ashley and Monster arguing and finds out the two are not related and are in a relationship with one another.

Twist 6: Rudy decides to escape but can't when henchmen close in on him from both sides.

Twist 7: Monster has lost all his friends during the robbery and only Rudy, himself, and Ashley have survived.  Ashley and Monster reveal how they're going to kill Rudy and frame him for the robbery.

Twist 8: Doubts are raised once again when Ashley accidentally reveals she knows how Nick died even though Rudy claims to Monster he never told her how Nick died, Ashley shoots and kills Monster, we find out that Ashley is really Nick's old girlfriend Millie Bobeck, Nick reveals himself and how he faked his death and orchestrated this whole triple cross.

     Okay so maybe some of these are just plot points and contrivances rather than twists but because of them the plot depends on way too many coincidences and variables.  Rudy has to take Nick's place and in order for Nick and Millie's plan to work all Monster's henchmen have to die in the robbery.  All this also has to depend on Rudy not escaping or getting killed by Monster or his henchman before the robbery.  On top of all that Rudy isn't a very likeable character.  He's actually kind of weaselly.  He lies, tries to tell the truth to save himself, lies to save himself, and lies to further deceive in order to save himself.  He seems to do everything but fellate Monster and his henchmen to survive.

     This is probably one of the most deeply flawed movies you'll ever see me admit to liking on this blog.  I can fully understand why someone would dislike this movie and I'm not willing to defend it or persuade someone who openly hates it.  It's a ridiculous movie and has an overly complicated plot but none of these things bother me enough not to enjoy it.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas(1966)

     "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" isn't exactly a movie as it is a tv special.  They later made it into a feature length live action movie but I think that may have been a mistake.  After all this is a classic that even members of my generation could appreciate.  Even though I've said I detest anything that is overly sentimental or has a moral I love "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" anyway.

     As I mentioned earlier I love a good villain and The Grinch is one of the best.  He's a bitter, lonely, resentful, jealous, hermit who delights in other people's misery.  He literally steals candy from babies in this special.  He reminds me a lot of myself.  We both even have a cute little dog as a sidekick.  I think it's brilliant that they got Boris Karloff who is famous for playing a green monster to voice The Grinch.  The Grinch looks like he's having a little to much fun wrecking Christmas for everyone so it's a little hard to believe he has a change of heart later on but even that doesn't bother me.  The music and the animation are both tops even though the dubbing isn't all that great.