The Avengers - 2012
While I did really enjoy this
movie there were a lot of things I took issue with. While I never read the comics there are a few
things I do know about The Avengers that it looked like they really screwed up.
1. Captain who? - It’s my understanding that Captain America
is the leader of The Avengers and while he is seen giving orders in one scene
he does nothing to bring this iconic group of superheroes together.
This is the US poster for the movie. Notice how Captain America is in the background behind just about every character. Judging by this poster they should have called the movie Iron Man and the Avengers.
Now check out the cover for the straight to dvd animated feature Ultimate Avengers. Notice how Captain America is front and center with everyone else behind him.
2. Hawkeye is a bad guy - As one
of my favorite Avengers it just really pissed me off that he gets brainwashed
by Loki in the first five minutes and stays that way for half the movie. He doesn’t even have a chance to do or even
say much before he betrays everyone. He
redeems himself in the end and his scenes are pretty badass but it doesn’t make
up for all that happened earlier.
Stepping outside myself and my
love for this character for a moment, this is just real shitty character development.
Look at it this way how are most people supposed to establish that Hawkeye is a
hero when he only got one minute of screen time in Thor and the next time we
see him he becomes an easily led puppet?
Oh and by the way the perceived romance he has with Black Widow pissed
me off too.
3.
Banner miscasting - I don’t care that they couldn’t get Ed Norton to
reprise his role as Dr. Bruce Banner but the guy they replaced him with is just
awful.
4. Quagmire - Nick Fury rushes to
the war conclusion too readily. Loki
escapes that compound and the next we hear from Fury there’s a war. When did he come to this conclusion and
why? For all he knows it’s just Loki and
Hawkeye.
5.
BS technology - Whenever I see a
piece of tech that either can’t exist or has no reason to it takes me out of
the movie. I honestly can’t remember the
last time I saw something as ridiculous or unnecessary as the FLYING AIRCRAFT
CARRIER!!! As soon as I saw this coming
onscreen I said to myself, “They’re not going to go there,” and then, “I can’t
fucking believe it”. And that’s when I
slapped my head. First off there is NO FUCKING REASON IT
SHOULD BE FLYING IN THE FIRST PLACE! The
one reason I can imagine it does is so they can get places faster but even that
doesn’t make any sense because most of these super heroes can fly and the ones
who can’t could easily fly out of there in one of the jets WHICH IS EXACTLY
WHAT THEY DO AT THE END OF THE MOVIE!
Not to mention the fact that it does fly poses a major threat to anything
they fly over. Later in the movie
the damned thing gets sabotaged and they
have to fix the problem or plunge to earth and kill themselves and everyone
below them. Second I don’t know jack
shit about propulsion but even I know there’s no turbine in the fucking world
big enough or powerful enough to lift an aircraft carrier. Third, an aircraft carrier is not aerodynamic
that’s why they’re designed for the sea and not the air.
6.
Dues Ex Machina City – At one point Thor is tricked into getting trapped
in Loki’s prison as he escapes. He tries
to force his way out but all he manages to do is put a little crack in the
glass. His imprisonment leads to the
death of a main character but when the cell is jettisoned and plummeting to
earth Thor easily escapes by breaking through the glass.
(Huge Spoilers) Towards the end of the movie against Nick
Fury’s orders the unseen syndicate that gives S.H.I.E.L.D its orders sends a
nuclear missile at the city despite the fact that there’s no threat of the
Chitauri army escaping the city. Iron
Man then uses this missile to blow up the Chitauri mothership which disables
all their troops on earth. I didn’t even
know they were robots until this point.
In fact they zoom in on a few of them and they appear to have creature
like faces. Assuming these things are
robots of some kind the movie does nothing to establish this nor do they
explain who they are, where they come from, or why they want to rule the earth,
they just do. The Citauri are the
biggest MacGuffin I’ve seen in a movie
in a long time. Really they only exist
so The Avengers have something to beat up in the final act of the movie. I also find it a little ironic that this is
how they saved the day in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace which also starred
Samuel L. Jackson. When will alien
invaders learn that organic soldiers don’t malfunction when your mothership
gets destroyed?
7. HULK AGAIN!!! The inconsistencies with the Hulk are enough
to transform me into a giant green rage monster. My younger brother often plays devil’s
advocate whenever I point out plot inconsistencies that leave huge gaping holes
in the suspension of disbelief. In the
last act of the movie Bruce Banner transforms into the Hulk again only this
time instead of attacking everything in sight it only focuses on the bad guys
except for a scene where it punches Thor in comic relief. Not even he was willing to defend that.
8.
Not enough heroic sequences – I had the same problem with this that I
did with Iron Man. I’m not saying all
they have to do is run around rescuing cats out of trees but seeing these
superheroes actually saving someone every once in a while would be nice. In The Avengers all they do is fight
things. In the Spiderman movies we see
him saving people all the time. (I realize towards the end they do some pseudo saving
people but they’re not actually saving them they’re just telling them to find
shelter.)
9. Meh – It’s more of a personal
thing but it pissed me off when someone told Captain America Thor was a god and
he said quote, “There’s only one god and he doesn’t dress like that.”
I find it odd that a 72 minute
animated movie establishes its characters and plot better than a live action
movie that’s longer, has a better budget, and an a list cast. I’d hate to say it but Ultimate Avengers is a
far superior movie, but I still liked this one and expect to buy it as soon as
it comes out.
In spite of all the problems I mentioned
I give this movie an 85 +B. It’s got
issues but it’s still a fun and enjoyable movie if you can forgive some of
those issues.
No comments:
Post a Comment