New Moon by Stephenie Meyer

New Moon by Stephenie Meyer

“It was bad enough that my best friend was a werewolf, did he have to be a monster too?”

That may very well be the strangest and dumbest sentence I’ve ever read.  With that said this may be hard to believe but this isn’t the worst book I’ve ever read(that designation goes to “Mission Earth: The Invaders Plan” see Mission Earth: The Invaders Plan).  It’s certainly not the best either.  I have mixed feelings about it actually.  The prose is absolutely terrible and the main character and narrator, Bella, is one of the most poorly conceived characters I’ve ever read.  Her internal monologue is ceaseless as she describes her opinions and emotions on everything.  EVERYTHING!  She goes on about how she feels about certain characters, their actions, things she likes or doesn’t like, and of course she never spares the reader how she’s feeling at any given moment.  On top of that it also makes forced allusions to William Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet” that are about as obvious as a kick to the face and are completely irrelevant to this story.  The story goes nowhere slowly and for a bulk of the book isn’t very interesting.  If you’ve heard about these books and you love vampires this book will greatly disappoint you.  Never mind that the creatures described as vampires in this book don’t at all resemble the prototypical vampire because most of this book is devoid of any vampires of any kind.  In the beginning Bella’s boyfriend, the vampire Edward, breaks up with her and leaves town.  From here on out the story involves Bella complaining constantly about a broken heart and hanging out with her new best friend… who just so happens to be a guy… who she’s attracted to… but for whatever reason has no romantic interest in.  I hope that doesn’t sound oversimplified but “New Moon” is bloated and cluttered with nonevents.  I can’t remember the last time where I read so much about so little.  Since Bella’s vampire boyfriend leaves town her friend Jacob fills the void but only in a supportive nonromantic way.  Every now and then whenever she makes a poor or dangerous decision she hears hallucinatory warnings from her forlorn love.  The hallucinations become a drug as she continues purposely putting herself in harm’s way.  It’s kind of a weird message.  She has two boyfriends, one real and one imagined, and she can’t seem to choose between the two so she doesn’t.  Her old boyfriend’s left and isn’t coming back but rather than embrace what’s real and right in front of her she embraces the voices in her head.

I can say this about it, it’s better than the movie.  Bella’s character has better dialogue, better motivation, and more depth than her movie counterpart.  But regardless of which medium you choose she’s still incredibly shallow, dull, and self-absorbed.  The book like the movie lacks simple storytelling structure like plot, conflict, and climax.  The worst part was an entire chapter towards the end where Edward returns and spends the rest of the chapter trying to convince Bella she isn’t dreaming.  The book despite its 563 page length is a fast and easy read that you don’t have to invest much thought or imagination in.  It’s a pleasant change from my usual horror and sci fi and for that reason alone I did enjoy reading it but I can’t suggest it to anyone over the age of 15.  55/100 Overall not a terrible book but still pretty bad.  It doesn’t hurt that I went into this with lowered expectations either.