“The Drive-In will never die.”
Joe
Bob Briggs
I read the first book in the
Drive-In Omnibus and that got me in the mood to watch some good ol’ fashioned
b-horror movies. The book mentions a few
of these so rather than review them all separately I’ve decided to give a short
review for each of them.
Death Wish – 1976
I was watching something earlier
this week and they mentioned Charles Bronson.
I thought to myself ya know I’ve never seen a Bronson movie so why not
start with what is arguably the most infamous.
From what I gather he’s typecast as a thug or a tough guy. I’m reminded of a few Simpsons sketches that
reinforce this:
After checking out his imdb page I
found he was quite a diverse actor, starring in westerns, war dramas, and of
course action movies. I remember him
best for the episode of The Twilight Zone he was in.
Death Wish wasn’t exactly what I
expected but I was pleasantly surprised anyway.
Based upon its reputation I thought it would be revenge movie and it
sort of is but it’s different than most of the ones I’ve seen. The story takes place in New York City. Bronson’s wife is murdered and his daughter
is raped and turns into a vegetable by thieves who break into their home. If you’ve been reading my blog you know by
now I’m no stranger to rape in cinema.
This was by and far more brief than the ones in I Spit on Your Grave,
Last House on the Left, the Halloween remake, Straw Dogs, and even American
History X and Deliverance which feature male rapes, but it had a bigger impact
on me. It’s not very graphic but it
feels more real for its frenzy and lack of premeditation.
Death Wish isn’t well acted but I
wasn’t expecting it to be, the effects aren’t all that good either but in spite
of these problems it still offers a compelling story. With comic book movies becoming more popular
it’s nice to see a more realistic view of vigilantism. Bronson is just a normal guy who’s fed up
with seeing crime all around him. I’ve
often criticized the modern Batman adaptations as being too high and mighty in
regards to his no killing policy.
Chances are no matter how skilled you are you would be faced with a kill
or be killed scenario which you couldn’t avoid and taking the high road might
just get you killed. There are also
consequences both positive and negative to Bronson’s actions. Towards the end of the movie he gets stabbed
and shot. He also drives the crime rate
down by half and as a result the mayor and district attorney don’t want to
prosecute him. This is a little
farfetched but it does make sense. It
made me wonder if two wrongs make a right.
Death Wish isn’t a perfect movie
but it is entertaining and I highly recommend it. 90/100 A
I Dismember Mama - 1972
Aside from Killer Clowns From Outer
Space being mentioned by Don Coscarelli(director of the Phantasm series,
Beastmaster, and of course Bubba Ho-Tep in case you didn’t know) in the
introduction this is the first movie to be mentioned in The Drive-In. I understand why Lansdale mention this, it’s
just the kind of obscure sleazy b-movie you’d see at a drive-in.
Man this was bad! Once again I’m treated to rape scenes. Not just one but two! In the first 30 freakin minutes of the movie,
the first one taking place just 5 minutes in.
I’m starting to think its really sad how often I watch movies where
someone gets raped.
I didn’t know what to expect
because I didn’t look it up on imdb and the book doesn’t describe the movie at
all. I just thought it would be a fun
experiment to watch the movies in the book in the sequence they appear and even
though I didn’t like this one I still had fun.
Okay so the movie is about an
institutionalize young man who has an intense hatred for all womankind. He attacks a nurse and tries to rape her
before he’s interrupted by two orderlies.
As a consequence for this he is to going to be sent to a state
facility. Before this can happen he
kills an orderly and escapes. If this
sounds familiar you’ve probably seen as many slasher flicks as I have… and you
ought to be ashamed. He was incarcerated
for attacking his mother and the first thing he does as soon as he escapes is
to give her a call. He tells her he’s
coming home and she’s moved and put into police protection. When he gets to his family’s mansion he rapes
and kills the maid in the most humiliating way possible. After he’s done the maid’s daughter shows up
looking for her mother and this is where the movie goes downhill and not for
the reason you think.
Rather than kill the 11 year old
girl he jokes around with her, feeds her candy, and plays with her. After he gathers some money they leave to go
to an amusement park then to a hotel.
The sequences with Albert(the killer and rapist) and the little girl
take up half the movie and at some point I started to wonder just what the hell
I was watching. Albert’s impulse to kill
women takes over and he runs off to a bar in the middle of the night to pick up
what I think was a prostitute so he bring her back to the hotel to kill
her. The little girl wakes up, witnesses this and runs away. Albert
runs after her and in the commotion the police are summoned. The movie ends when Albert rushes after the
girl and falls out a high window. The
title is a little misleading because he never gets close enough to his mother to
dismember her. I realize it’s fucked up
but the only thing that kept me going during the boring parts was the
promise that someone was going to get dismembered and I was more than a little
disappointed when that didn’t happen.
I Dismember Mama is bad but it’s
not terrible. I heard about this movie
when I was reading a book about a grindhouse drive-in so I wasn’t really
expecting much to begin with. What can
you really expect out of an early 70’s exploitation movie? 30/100 fail.
The Toolbox Murders - 1978
Once again we take a look into the
dark psyche of a deeply disturbed person.
Unlike I Dismember Mama this one is really good and lives up to its
title. What’s strange is I’ve seen
movies like this before. Otis springs to
mind but there are a lot of movies out there that attempt to get inside a
killer’s mind but don’t do it affectively.
Red Dragon is a good movie but I never really felt like I was immersed
in Dolarhyde’s world and the same goes for Hannibal Lector. They’re both captivating characters but each
time you just felt like you were just scratching the surface. The only other time I felt this close to a
killer was in Seven.
The movie begins without any plot
or story when the killer murders 4 people one right after the other. We’re not introduced to any lasting
characters or backstory for any of the people he’s killed and we’re only given
a paper thin motive. True to his name
this guy kills with tools. He kills the
first woman with a drill, the second with a hammer, the third he strangles, and
the fourth he shoots with a nail gun. Instead
of killing the fifth victim he kidnaps her.
Upset that they aren’t doing enough
her brother takes the investigation into his own hands. Helping him is the building owner’s nephew
who’s being paid to clean up the crime scenes.
I won’t ruin some of the great surprises this movie will have in store
for you but in the middle of the movie the killer has a very creepy 10 minute
monologue with the kidnapped girl. This
sick film is a classic and worth your time if you’re looking for a good late 70’s
b-movie. 85/100 B
The Drive-In by Joe R. Lansdale
The first book in The Drive-In
omnibus is the shortest but it lays the groundwork for the other two and as
good as it was I can’t wait to see what the others ones have in store. The book introduces four friends going to a
drive-in on a Friday night. In the
middle of the second movie a comet comes towards the drive-in, cracks in half,
smiles, then leaves. After the comet’s
departure all four screens of the drive-in is coated in an oily black mist. Watches and phones stop working but vehicles,
electricity, and plumbing still works.
People try escaping but only end up getting melted by the oily film
surrounding the drive-in.
After the panic the manager offers
free concessions until they get rescued, presumably by the National Guard, and
assures everyone the movies will continue playing. After watching nothing but horror movies and
surviving on nothing but hot dogs, popcorn, soda, and candy people start going
insane. What results from here are
malnutrition, murder, chaos, cults, cannibalism, mutants, and lyncings.
I honestly can’t say I’ve ever read
anything like The Drive-In and I enjoyed every second of it. I’d definitely recommend it to any b-movie and
drive-in fanatic especially if you’re looking for a short entertaining read
90/100 A
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